I'm writing this because I don't want to forget this moment and how I feel right now.
I feel very loved, despite my husband being a few hours away at a show. I feel the thoughts, prayers and support of those who care about me, lifting me up and giving my heart some hope. I feel something that I've been missing for the last three years: community. Knowing people and being known.
I have jumped in, heart first, into my community. I hadn't realized how deprived I was of this basic human need. I'm even introducing myself to strangers at church!?
This evening, my dear friends took me out to dinner for my birthday. Jeff is gone tonight and they were so kind to invite me out. We laughed and ate. Then we just drove around a bit and looked at a few sights, nothing spectacular: an eagle's nest, mushrooms growing in the woods, drove by a few neighbor's houses. We came to a Buffalo farm in town and pulled off the side of the road to gawk. Kate spontaneously burst into the Happy Birthday song as we were nearing the buffalo. It was one of the best, most random, most happy, happy birthday songs. And maybe I loved the oddity of it all, but what I love the most was that my friends showed they love me tonight by caring to take me out and let me be part of their family.
It's been an interesting transition. Lonely without my husband. But then feeling my roots grow and get nourished in a community that I'd previously consider myself a transplant in. While we were home between traveling, I'd try and plant myself, volunteer, commit to people (sometimes) and events(rarely), only to be up-rooted too soon. We'd leave, days would pass. Upon return, I'd be left to try and plant myself all over again.
I feel the freedom to grow with out reservation, I have the time to dig my roots deep. I feel very alive. Lonely and Alive at the same time.
No comments:
Post a Comment